Confession #4

I don't love my job. I didn't love my last job either.

I've never come to a realization where I stopped and told myself I love what I do. Sometimes I could say it's fine but I never liked any of it that much. I always have this thing what I like about it but not like it as a whole. It may be a little thing for others but not for me. It's like working for money, not passion. I wish I'd find it. I wish someday I'd come across that job and live with it. I wish someday that realization will come to kick me in my guts. I'd be very happy then. Very.

I wish that someday will come.

If not, then... will this life get any better?

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Shine down on me.
Or just come and get me.
Both will be fine.

-men.

Confession #3

If they would ask me to give one of my classes to another teacher, I would rather teach them all.

Before, I wished for another teacher to come here so that some of my classes would be given. I would not think twice to give half of them. I'd happily give them to another.
However, if I'd do it now, I'd be sad. I would not know what class to give up because I learned to love all of them. They may be a pain in the biscuit but I love them. I love how different they are from each other and I even love how unruly they are. I may not like teaching that much but I can say that the only thing that makes me stay is having them as my students. I don't care whether they like me or not. I can't please all of them. What's important is that I enjoy their class. So, choosing is definitely difficult for me. Very difficult. It's like choosing between my books. It's that hard.

Well, if they really make me do it, I'd rather have my manager decide. My only request is for my favorite class to still be my class. Hey. No judgement. There will always be a favorite class, whether you meant for it to happen or not.
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Left eye or right eye.
Head or feet.
Heart or brain.
Don't make me choose.
It's devastating.

-men.