Confession #7

Being an introvert exhausts my soul.

I do not enjoy being around lots of people especially with people I barely know. I do not look forward speaking in front of a big or small crowd, knowing that there are eyes glued on me. I do not get comfortable with new companions in a day; I may need at least a week. I prefer to listen than to speak. I prefer to stay at home and read my beloved books than to spend my night in a bar. These are just some of the things I can't just delete from my system. That's why when I have to do one or worst, all, my poor soul will be exhausted completely.

Being around with new people fears me the most. It just means that I have to speak, I have to introduce myself, I have to socialize, and I need to adjust myself in everything. Most of the time, I' always tell myself to be the opposite of what I am but I always end up being myself. In the end, people think I am unsociable, weird, awkward, or worse, rude. I am not, and it's not my intention to be one. In most cases, I tend to force myself to do something big which appears to be something less to others. I still do my best but of course, being the best is still subjective.

That's why I appreciate those people who talk to me even though I am awkward, weird or unsociable. I appreciate it so much that it makes me comfortable in a faster pace (maybe a fast pace for me, but not for others; again it's also subjective). I like it even though they just sit beside me and assure me that I am not alone. I like it when they invite me even though I am just new to the group. I look up these people because they know how to handle these situations. I salute them.

I recently just started to join a company. You may know now how that scares the hell out of me. It did but then I was very grateful because my colleagues and boss are all great. I appreciate them so much that even though I know no one, I was able to adjust and get comfortable in a week. I may still be in the process but I can say that I am getting there. It's all thanks to them.

During these times, you can just smile and appreciate some people. You will think that even though the world and some people may seem so cruel, there are still some who have hearts of gold. It's nice. Very heartwarming indeed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
being alone seems fine.
it has always been me.
but friends come.
yes, some go.
but still, some stay.
and everything's just worth it.
-men.