I never thought I'd find an answer to one of my unanswered questions in a short story in A03.
"It's easy to drop everyone when you've dropped yourself."
I've always wondered why I always moved on from people faster than anyone else. It's not because there's little care or love or concern for them, but it's because I just don't care about life or my life, specifically.
When something bad happens, I may get frustrated but a minute later, I'd just shrug and think, "well, that's too bad." Or if someone leaves, I'd be sad but after a short while, I'd shrug again and think, "if that's what they want and they don't need me anymore, then, okay."
There was a point in my life when I just stopped caring altogether. Like I know everything is not permanent in my life and would eventually disappear at some point. I just stopped chasing anything. I just float. Everything comes and goes.
So when I read this line, I was surprised with how it echoed something in me. That's it. I have dropped myself for a long time and never considered picking it back up again.
